Does it sometimes feel like there’s more to life for you? That maybe, just maybe, you might be settling for less in your relationships, your health, your career?
I’m excited to talk and share some tips on something that I also struggle with personally in my life. I made some great stride from not settling for less and I’m excited to share some of my learnings.
Watch below or keep reading…
Do you settle for less than you want, or less than would make you feel good, in relationships? It could be in a romantic relationship, a relationship with your family, your kids, your job, your home environment, your expression, your creativity, your growth.
There are many areas in our life where we can become someone who settles for less. This is something that I personally have done in the past and it’s something that I’m still working on. I have made some strides and I am very happy to share my learnings.
Why We Settle
Before we get into the actual identifiers of whether you’re settling for less or not, let’s discover why we settle for less.
At the very core, we’re settling for less because we believe that we can’t have what we really want.
We also believe that we are not worthy of having what we really want.
Lastly, we settle because we’re used to it. We’re used to the substandard love that we’re getting from the people around us. We’re used to not feeling good about our jobs.We’re used to not feeling good about our creativity and growth. We are familiar with that, and sometimes familiarity feels good to us, even though we know it’s not our highest.
You Deserve Better
You deserve an amazing life! You deserve an incredible relationship and body and job and creativity and growth! As I get into explaining some of the red-flags of settling and some of the things to look for, remember that it comes down to worthiness, and believing that you are worthy of living a big, beautiful, amazing, rewarding, fulfilling, contented life.
You have a birthright and you deserve to live a beautiful life. You can’t play small and think that you’re not worthy.
Stop the damn thinking and self-talk that sounds like this: “Who am I to have an amazing relationship?” “Who am I to have an amazing job?” Who am I to have an amazing opportunity and be creative with my life?”
STOP! You deserve those things. It is your birthright! It is your divine right to have everything that you want!
Stop feeling like you’re asking for too much or you’re playing too big because, believe me, you’re absolutely positively not. You deserve it and you’re worthy of it.
Here are some things that you can be aware of and ask yourself if you’re in situations where you’re feeling like you are settling for less.
1. If you have to work yourself into an excitement or attempt to get jazzed up for something – versus genuinely feeling good and passionate about it – you’re probably settling for less.
If you really have to rev yourself up and get your motors running to feel good about something, it probably isn’t the right thing for you. However if you truly feeling passionate about something, if you’re so excited and you can’t wait to do it, it probably is your highest.
If you have to rev yourself up though, you probably settling.
2. When you focus on the time you invested and everything that you put into the relationship (or into the job or a certain endeavor) versus having gratitude and joy and so much appreciation for what it is, you’re probably settling.
When you evaluate the situation and say, “Well, I’ve invested so much _______ (fill in the blank) already. I can’t stop now,” then you’re probably settling for less. When it’s about the resources, time and energy you’ve invested, you’re not appreciating what it is and there are better options for you.
3. If you’re making excuses about why you should stay put versus shooting for the moon, you’re probably settling for less.
Excuses are just your way of talking yourself into staying in a situation – or trying to justify that to others that it’s okay for you to stay in the situation. If you’re making excuses as to why you should stay in the current scenario, where it may feel uncomfortable for you, versus focusing on expanding into your highest or doing something different that would make you feel better, you’re probably settling for less.
4. If you are bargaining with yourself and saying things like, “well I can’t live without this” instead of feeling gratitude and being extremely thankful for what you have and all the beautiful abundance that you have, you probably are settling for less.
If you’re focusing on telling yourself, “It’s okay, I don’t need to feel this way or I don’t need that in my life,” that’s a big sign that you are settling for less. If you really want something, but you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t, that’s a big red flag.
5. You find yourself complaining about the situation a lot.
If you’re bitching in your head, or you’re bitching outloud to your neighbor or your friend or whoever it might be about the scenario, there’s a pretty good chance that you are settling for less. If you complain, you’re not happy in that situation.
Instead of using that energy to bitch about it, you use it to change in the situation into something that makes you feel fulfilled.
Are you settling for less in a relationship? As a parent? In your career? At your home? With your self care and your body?
If so, start standing in your truth and know, to the core of your being, that it’s okay and that you’re worthy of wanting more.
It’s okay to want more and to feel a different kind of way.
But you have to get into that juicy, uncomfortable, yummy truth first.
You have to accept that and realize your truth. Also, start to realize that it doesn’t matter what anybody else wants.
It’s all up to you to own your truth and to stand in it.
Once you realize what you really want and are owning your truth, then it’s time for some changes. They don’t have to be radical and they don’t have to be completely crazy changes. You can lean and ease in.
Just knowing your truth and that you’re settling for less will propel you to change and get something different. Think about it: once you own your truth about what you really want, living in what you really don’t want is going to be painful and push you to make some changes.
You’ve got this. You can uplevel and play bigger. I believe in you.
Sending you all of my love to have the strength and courage and to feel worthiness to make those kinds of changes to create and live the life that you want.